TONY and BEN walking in the Park. Winter light.
BEN: I had hoped that it wouldn't come to this. I know, it's not kosher to talk like this but, for heaven's sake, there are so many of them who don't make, for whatever reason... I'd rather not know that something like him exists, it would make the world, it would make New York a more comfortable place to live in... I know that eventually, we need to be replaced... But, for heaven's sake, we're the ones who are alive, aren't we, we're the ones who have to deal with the shit of living, we should have at least a say, shouldn't we, about the how and the who and the when, about whether it's convenient to us... And this one, which was made to aggravate me, to be a thorn in my life, to wreck my life, to ruin me with guilt and bad feelings... this one, of course, this one of all, will make it... I don't mind if you think that I'm a monster, or a whimp...
TONY: I understand. I'd cut my balls if it were mine...
BEN: Yes, I see you get my point... that's exactly what I feel like doing... If I had courage... But then if I had courage, maybe I could face the situation...
TONY: There are things only a man can understand...
BEN: Right... You're right. Maybe I should change my shrink? I mean, she'a a woman...
TONY: A woman... Bad mistake... I always say: take a man for a shrink and a woman for a lawyer...
BEN: Do you really think that he'll have to be told? I mean, why bring unnecessary turmoil into his life, why not let him believe that he's yours... You could save my life with this...
TONY: I can't do that... You forget... Everything is clear now as water from the mountains... He'll have a DNA test some day for whatever reason, and...
BEN: God, the world has become impossible!
TONY: But it won't matter... The situation is hardly exotic... I mean, compared with what other kids have to contend with... It'll be downright dull... He might grow up to feel embarrassed that his story is so dull.. That's why it's all of no importance whatsoever... That's why you can be quiet and at ease, and just trust me... Trust me, an he'll never even want to hear about you... You'll mean less than chicken-shit to him...
BEN: I am deeply grateful...
TONY: Of course, you know, I am still not sure that she will want me to have him...
BEN: Jesus! I can't understand that! What does she want, for heaven's sake? She's not going to turn you down, is she? I mean, you're such a responsible, deeply empathic person... No, no, don't protest... I'm only repeating her own words... She trusts you like no one else...
TONY: Yet, she left me... I still don't know why...
BEN: It's very simple: she left you in order to fuck up my life... and hers... Not yours... Yours she never wanted to fuck up... You can't be fucked up, you're too simple.. too straightforward, too strong...
You probably think that I'm a rat, because I don't want to take on this... this... situation... Because I talk about it in terms of a fuck-up...
and nothing but a fuck-up...
Because I'm not sentimental about it...
You come from a Catholic background, don't you? Madonnas and bambini and the lot...
I mean, you're a sophisticated man, but some things stick...
But I've been deeply hurt, you know... I really trusted that I would find happiness in this relationship... I'm not usually so trusting... I didn't expect what happened... Not one second... I have never been so badly surprised in my life...
TONY: I can imagine...
BEN: I'm off women for a while, believe me... A male shrink, you say?
TONY: I would recommend it...
BEN: Anybody you know?
TONY: No, I'm not into that! I can give you the name of a lawyer... She has the best sticks you've ever seen...
BEN: Oh, fuck off...!