ISHTAR's apartment. A fire is lit in the fireplace. BEN, in a state of utter agitation, saying nothing, sitting on the edge of the couch. Holding a drink. She is sitting too, looking in the distance. He grabs nervously at peanuts in a dish.
ISHTAR: I mean, you could say something...
BEN gives a violent, angry blow with his fist into the arm of the couch. Then, suddenly, he goes into a coughing fit, choking on the peanuts. He throws himself on the floor gagging and fighting for air. She tries to make him drink water, he pushes her away. His breathing efforts become frightening.
ISHTAR: I am calling for help... (runs to the telephone).
BEN crouches on the floor, bent in two, and retches miserably. His throat is clear. He makes a sign to her. He wipes his mouth.
BEN: It's over!
ISHTAR: Are you sure?
BEN (acquiesces strongly. Goes on wiping his mouth. Then:)
BEN: You must have an abortion... I mean it!
ISHTAR: No!
BEN: I cannot... I cannot go on with this relationship... I cannot see you again... if you don't comply with my reasonable wishes and have an abortion...
ISHTAR: I will not.
BEN: Well, then... this is the end... It's your decision... And I will not, you understand me, I will not, under any circumstances, be made to take any responsibility for what has happened... Not in the least... I will seek advice from my lawyer. I cannot, I cannot be a father, it's impossible and I refuse...
ISHTAR: You don't have to be...
BEN: I have entered this relationship under the clear apprehension that nothing, absolutely nothing like this would happen, you told me that your health made it impossible for you to consider pregnancy... That there would be no pressure of any kind to enter marriage, or a lasting commitment... I cannot... paternity is a stress that I cannot and that I should not have to go through...
ISHTAR: You don't have to...
BEN: I am already...Right now... I feel profoundly deceived and used...
ISHTAR: It was an accident...
BEN: Well then, you must have an abortion... Ish, I love you, this is going to wreck my life... You don't know just how much I am attached to you, and maybe you don't care... Ish, it's not my fault if I am this way, I can't, I simply can't... Call it an infirmity, call it whatever you want... You have an infirmity, I have an infirmity... Call me sick, call me defective, call me antisocial, call me whatever you want, there is nothing, nothing in the world which can force me to go through this... and I'm going through it already... this horror through which I'm going already... Yet, I can be happy, we can be happy, we can be happy for a long time to come, Ish, should you care about being happy with me... Just have an abortion for my sake, women have thousands of abortions every day... You owe this to me... We will be happy, but it can only ruin my life forever, if I have to go through this...
ISHTAR: An abortion would be as dangerous to my health, if not more, as the pregnancy will be... it just about reduces my chances by half...
BEN; Oh, my god, oh my god, how could you, but how could you let this happen, you see, you see, it is not me, I am not a monster, this thing is going to hurt you horribly, and you want me to want it to happen, you want me to welcome this horror into my life, you expect me not to freak out over this... I mean, I mean, even I were normal I would tear my hair out, I... I would kill myself... I'm going to be the cause of your... if something awful happens to you, it's going to be my fault... Don't you see that this wrecks my life, that it jeopardizes my mental health, my equilibrium, any possibility of happiness I could ever have, that it exposes me to stress and misery for years to come, that I probably won't be able to fall back on my feet until I am past fifty... if I am lucky... But why, why did you let this happen...
ISHTAR: We made love, didn't we... We finally made love...
BEN: But, oh, those things happen to uneducated teen-agers, not to us, how could I ever have dreamt that you wouldn't.. I even surmised... I surmised you had been sterilized... How can they tell you not to become pregnant and no sterilize you...
ISHTAR: I refused to be sterilized...
BEN: Well, that settles it, I know exactly what my shrink will say... You wanted it, this was a set-up... You wanted this to happen... I don't know why people go into this kind of self-destructive behavior, but the worst is, you used me for this, you... wanted to get back at your husband... or something... you wanted this to happen... Women can want this, even it if it kills them... You wanted it, and you used me for it... And my life is wrecked...
ISHTAR: You'll get over it...
BEN: It's going to cost me a fortune...
ISHTAR: I won't sue you for paternity...
BEN: I will want an affidavit, or something, to that effect...
ISHTAR: Anything you want, dear!
BEN: I won't be able to get over the wreckage of another love affair! It sets me back at least five or six years... I really thought that you were my salvation, and now it turns out that you are the worst of all, this relationship is the worst thing that has happened to me my life...
ISHTAR: It's the second worse thing that's happened in mine...
BEN: But then, honey, honey, have an abortion, let's forget about this, let's forget... The damage is done... Why make it worse...
ISHTAR: It will be worse if I have an abortion...
BEN: You're wrong, you're absolutely wrong... If you don't have an abortion, there'll be a child...
A child...
My head spins, I have butterflies in my stomach, I'm going to vomit... I have my acid reflux... I have my spastic colon again... You should feel how I feel... Look at us: we are two miserable wretches, and you want to pull another human being into this, into this wreckage... This is criminal... this is criminal...
ISHTAR: It will be worse if there's no child... Then it will all have been a waste...
BEN: I mean, you saw what happened just now, it has already almost killed me... This child... it has very nearly killed me already... D'you think that this wasn't serious, what just happened to me...? I could have choked myself to death... I could be dead at this time... It's the first time in my life that I've found myself so close to death...
ISHTAR: You were afraid of dying.... The child... if it could give its opinion, well, it would probably want to live...
BEN: There is no child...
ISHTAR: There will be...
BEN: It will kill me, it will kill you, and when the time comes it will die itself si what's the use... Blessed is he who died in his mother's womb... That's the wisdom of Salomon... You're Jewish too, aren't you... Oh God, wait until my shrink hears that... Maybe I should call her... I... I must call her, will you be very sore at me if I call her from here...? (takes out his mobile phone, with which he keeps fidgeting.) All this, my choking, my near brush with death, my, my... what has happened to our evening... Oh, the horror, the horror of it all...
ISHTAR: I guess... it's always a shock to a man...
BEN: It may... it may still not happen.. it may be more reasonable than you are... there are more spontaneous abortions... than births... I've heard about that...
ISHTAR: Ben, you shouldn't worry... You don't have to see me ever again... You may never know if the child is born or not...
BEN: Oh, but we could have been so happy together... you... you were the woman, the most wonderful woman I'd ever met, you... You didn't want marriage, you didn't want a family... We could have lived just for each other... And who says one can't be selfish, who's to tell me that I can't be selfish and selfishly happy with the woman I love... It was a mistake, I knew it, I knew it couldn't be... But dammit, we could have made each other happy, we could have had a decent life, you with your big problem, I with mine, namely, my personality... We could have taken care of each other, lived selfishly, yes... Why, but why do we have to ruin it all, for something that doesn't even exist, that is trying to kill us both... Do you think, for instance, after what happened here this evening, and, heaven forbid, if something should happen to you, do you imagine that I could ever look at that child, I mean, even if I were a normal man who has been brainwashed into wanting offspring, that I could look at this child and not think at what it has done to us tonight... Okay, I was lucky, I was saved, after three minutes I was out of danger, but dammit, I was there, very close, absolutely close to death, and it's all because of him... How could I ever forget that... And you, you're a sick woman, you're a magnificent woman but a sick woman nonetheless, I would kill anybody who hurts you, I mean, if someone did as little as hurt your little finger, I'd sue him for punitive damages, I'd sue him to death, into destitution... And you want me... you want me to accept this... this thing, which may... which wants to kill us both... you want me to spend the rest of my life knowing that there's a creature out there, with my genes, who has harmed us irreversibly, who has tried to kill us both... This homicidal creep...
ISHTAR:... Calm down...
BEN Why, but why not let us be happy...?
ISHTAR: Honestly, I don't know why...
BEN: You should be devastated...
ISHTAR: I can't... Not any more... A 70% prognosis, an 85% prognosis... Do you think that one reacts in proportion...
BEN: You're happy! Confess... you're happy! Our relationship is wrecked and you're happy!
ISHTAR: Don't always say this word: "happy..."
BEN: I know... I know what the shrink is going to say... She'll advice me never to see you or speak to you again, and Jerry the same...
ISHTAR: I would not hold it against you, Ben... I could never hate you...
BEN: You... you think only of your own feelings... You don't think what it does to me, to stop seeing you, talking to you...
(Silence.)
ISHTAR: Maybe you'll like him, Ben!
BEN (jumps up to leave): If you can say that... If you can say that, then you've understood nothing...
(Grabs his coat, leaves in a hurry.)