Dimness. TONY in the foreground, facing the audience. ISHTAR appears in the background in street clothes, wearing high heels.
ISHTAR: I'm sorry...
TONY: She said this:
ISHTAR: I'm sorry...
TONY: She came home that night and she said this... STOP! Ishtar! Don't say it, don't, what on earth would you have to be sorry for...
Stop it... Ishtar... don't say it...
But she isn't going to say anything... What am I afraid of? How stupid of me. What makes me think that she's going to say this, THIS, THIS... She's coming home from shopping... she hasn't even seen the doctor yet... she's sorry...
ISHTAR: I'm sorry, I forgot to take the dog for a walk, darling.. Do you mind taking him now, darling...?
(Tony gulps.)
ISHTAR (joyously, with different expression and intonations):
I'm sorry, darling, I forgot to call you at the office...
I'm sorry, darling, I think it's going to rain this week-end...
I'm sorry I'm late, darling....
TONY: No, it won't do... She simply said this:
ISHTAR: I'm sorry... I talked to the doctor... It's cancer...
(Silence)
TONY: No... no... oh NO!
ISHTAR: I'm afraid it is!
TONY: It isn't...
(He goes to her and embraces her.)
ISHTAR: Yes...
TONY: NO!
ISHTAR: Yes!
TONY: NO...
(They grasp each other, she seems to go limp against him, they move like in a very slow waltz. She gives out a big, deep sigh against his breast.)
TONY (low, to himself): Do you know what you have just done, Ishtar... You've opened an enormous gap between us, you're on one side, I'm on the other, that's why I'm holding you,
holding you,
because we're not on the same side anymore... You are there and I'm here... We're not the same people any more... We're not in the same place anymore... We're not the One Thing anymore, together in one place...That's why I'm holding you, because I don't want you to know... I'm afraid that you'll see it, that you'll see the ravine that you've created, and that you will drift away, and that I'll lose you... that's why I'm holding you, my love, my love... my love... I don't want you to see it...
To see that I am on the other side,
like a coward, and that I'm leaving you alone to drift away,
to drift off...
That I'm a coward... Ishtar, my love... that I'm a coward... that you're alone in this... that, whatever I do or say to the contrary
you'll be alone in this...
and I can't help it...
ISHTAR: It's very little...
TONY: How little?
ISHTAR: Two millimeters...
TONY: That's very little (almost tenderly said, as if it were a baby...)
ISHTAR: It's in there... it's growing fast...
TONY: Oh my love, my love, don't talk this way, you're killing me...
(He leaves her standing and sits on the floor and talks to the audience:)
But it's not killing me at all... It's not doing anything at all to me... it's a coward's word to get sympathy... to get sympathy from her... It's not killing me... it's killing her...
ISHTAR: It has spread, already... it's going very fast... to two lymph nodes...
TONY: Two lymph nodes... My father had a patient, five lymph nodes, twenty five years ago, she's still alive and in good health... Another woman, I don't remember how many lymph nodes, seven, eight, thirty years ago, you'll meet her...
ISHTAR: That's what the doctor said... And every time he said: she's still alive... still alive... she's had mastectomy and excision of the lymph nodes... she's still alive... there are many women in your case who have gone successfully through therapy and after several years, they are considered cancer-free... We will help you, we're here for that... We see women here, of all ages, some younger than you... We've helped them...
(He takes her in his arms again - he puts his hands on her breasts.)
He says, I must have a mastectomy...
A mastectomy...
One breast only...
TONY: One breast...
ISHTAR: What do you think of that...
TONY: It doesn't matter...
ISHTAR: What do you mean?
TONY: It's of no importance to us... if it helps getting rid of the...
ISHTAR: You said: it doesn't matter...
TONY: It's true, it doesn't...
ISHTAR: It will be only one breast, the left breast, and then the lymph nodes under the armpit...
TONY: One breast left. I don't care...
ISHTAR: Stop saying that!
TONY: For me it will always be there.
ISHTAR: It can be reconstructed...
TONY: It will be my sweet beloved breast whatever happens...
ISHTAR: It's killing me.
TONY: Don't say that...
ISHTAR: Right now it is.
TONY: Don't say that.
ISHTAR: I hate it.
TONY: Don't say that.
ISHTAR: I hate it.
TONY: I will always love it... I love it... I love it...
ISHTAR: I hate it. It's killing me.
TONY: It will be gone. I love it... I'll love it afterwards....
ISHTAR: The operation is scheduled for next Thursday.
TONY: I will hold on to it until then...
ISHTAR: It will soon be gone...
TONY: I will hold on to it to the last moment... We'll get you through this...
ISHTAR: I don't want to die, Tony...
TONY: You will not die. We'll get rid of it. Are you sure he can't make it earlier than Thursday?
ISHTAR: That's already as quick as it can be...
TONY: Are you sure?
ISHTAR: Now that I know that it will not matter to you...
TONY: Yes...
ISHTAR: That it will make no difference to you...
TONY: It will not...
ISHTAR: I am sorry for this, Tony...
TONY: Don't say that...
ISHTAR: It makes a difference to me...
TONY: I know...
ISHTAR: Everything, everything is different now...
TONY: Don't say that...
ISHTAR: It's not just my breast...
TONY: I know...
(They let themselves to sit down, on the floor, embraced, and fall to one side.
Silence.)
TONY: I don't believe it... It's so beautiful... So perfectly beautiful, so perfectly beautiful...
ISHTAR: The nipple will be gone...
TONY: I love your breast... with or without a nipple... it doesn't matter...
ISHTAR: I'll lose my hair.
TONY: It will grow back... You will be just as beautiful without it...
ISHTAR: You say that now... What makes you think that you know how you will feel about all this once it has happened...
TONY: I know that nothing will be changed...
ISHTAR: All this is a great change for me...
TONY: I know...
ISHTAR: I will change and you will not...
TONY (to her breast): ...It's because I loved it too much...